Hey guys,
The abbreviated versionof this message is that I need to find my game again, am feeling damn sorry for myself and am hoping for a suggestion or two for pulling myself out of this damn hole.
The story: I'm mid thirties, came out of a relationship about a year ago that pulled my balls off. Now I'm in a new place, but still don't feel like I've made more than a couple of good male friends. I had some success with the game about 5-8 years ago, felt good about myself, felt attractive, was enjoying getting 'the look' fairly regularly. Now I feel like I'm back almost at square one. By moving I lost a lot of my social circle, and have failed to integrate myself well at the new place. I spend a bit too much time in my own company, and I'm struggling to motivate myself. I'm at university studying a busy degree which I'd rather keep anonymous for now, but it means I'm tired a lot of the time and I don't have much free time. I also have to be a bit careful not to do anything that could get me into any kind of legal trouble so I'm a bit more aware of risks than I used to be, which might be an excuse for my current anxiety.
On the other hand, I am really amazingly lucky to be studying at this point in my life. I''m loving it and I'm more or less guaranteed a hugely satisfying job at the end of it. I've got my own place, I'm free to come and go. But socially I am too isolated for my own liking. I have plans to go to local meet up groups, next month I'm rejoining the BJJ gym which I expect to help give me a bit of inner strength. When I re discovered game I got excited because I remembered how it felt, yet I'm struggling to connect wth any of the activities. I got Roosters guide for POF and have played with it but not wholeheartedly. I message about 15 girls a week and I'm not sure where I'm going wrong but I rarely get a reply. My pics aren't that great and that is one of the things I want to work on. This is kind of a negative reinforcement for me, I can feel my confidence slipping away.
I also want to do the AA programme and grow a backbone, eventually being able to go out and game during day and night but I'm struggling to find the time and energy. Then there are are a couple of meet up groups I could visit. But what I'm finding is my energy ebbs and flows and seems to come in at just the wrong moments. Academically I'm enjoying myself and doing well, that's when my energy is in. But socially it isn't working. I know I need more social activities, to get a bit braver again. At one point I was about to get my testosterone levels meically checked to see if that was what's up, but I don't really want to go down that channel of a lifetime of synthetics.
So I guess looking round I can see plenty of inspiration here. If I start being more disciplined with myself in the social side of my life, start believing in myself like I used to. My feeling is reread Roosters guide yet again and follow it to the letter, and maybe then start pushing the drills. Stop thinking about it and start doing it.
That's all really, it's Sat night here and I'm about to go to bed and try and sleep. There is a to do list in front of me. Sorry I'm coming across as yet abother moaning pussy, I guess by writing this I'm kind of trying to build a kind of momentum to start doing the things that I subconsciously know will make me feel better.
If anyone has been in this place, gone from good to bad and then turned it back again I'd appreciate hearing from you.
And I have one little question: self-hypnotism tapes to boost a little manly confidence(I'm thinking Hypnotica). Anyone tried? I wonder if it would help change some of the thought patterns that have been holding me back. Anyway thanks and good night guys.
The abbreviated versionof this message is that I need to find my game again, am feeling damn sorry for myself and am hoping for a suggestion or two for pulling myself out of this damn hole.
The story: I'm mid thirties, came out of a relationship about a year ago that pulled my balls off. Now I'm in a new place, but still don't feel like I've made more than a couple of good male friends. I had some success with the game about 5-8 years ago, felt good about myself, felt attractive, was enjoying getting 'the look' fairly regularly. Now I feel like I'm back almost at square one. By moving I lost a lot of my social circle, and have failed to integrate myself well at the new place. I spend a bit too much time in my own company, and I'm struggling to motivate myself. I'm at university studying a busy degree which I'd rather keep anonymous for now, but it means I'm tired a lot of the time and I don't have much free time. I also have to be a bit careful not to do anything that could get me into any kind of legal trouble so I'm a bit more aware of risks than I used to be, which might be an excuse for my current anxiety.
On the other hand, I am really amazingly lucky to be studying at this point in my life. I''m loving it and I'm more or less guaranteed a hugely satisfying job at the end of it. I've got my own place, I'm free to come and go. But socially I am too isolated for my own liking. I have plans to go to local meet up groups, next month I'm rejoining the BJJ gym which I expect to help give me a bit of inner strength. When I re discovered game I got excited because I remembered how it felt, yet I'm struggling to connect wth any of the activities. I got Roosters guide for POF and have played with it but not wholeheartedly. I message about 15 girls a week and I'm not sure where I'm going wrong but I rarely get a reply. My pics aren't that great and that is one of the things I want to work on. This is kind of a negative reinforcement for me, I can feel my confidence slipping away.
I also want to do the AA programme and grow a backbone, eventually being able to go out and game during day and night but I'm struggling to find the time and energy. Then there are are a couple of meet up groups I could visit. But what I'm finding is my energy ebbs and flows and seems to come in at just the wrong moments. Academically I'm enjoying myself and doing well, that's when my energy is in. But socially it isn't working. I know I need more social activities, to get a bit braver again. At one point I was about to get my testosterone levels meically checked to see if that was what's up, but I don't really want to go down that channel of a lifetime of synthetics.
So I guess looking round I can see plenty of inspiration here. If I start being more disciplined with myself in the social side of my life, start believing in myself like I used to. My feeling is reread Roosters guide yet again and follow it to the letter, and maybe then start pushing the drills. Stop thinking about it and start doing it.
That's all really, it's Sat night here and I'm about to go to bed and try and sleep. There is a to do list in front of me. Sorry I'm coming across as yet abother moaning pussy, I guess by writing this I'm kind of trying to build a kind of momentum to start doing the things that I subconsciously know will make me feel better.
If anyone has been in this place, gone from good to bad and then turned it back again I'd appreciate hearing from you.
And I have one little question: self-hypnotism tapes to boost a little manly confidence(I'm thinking Hypnotica). Anyone tried? I wonder if it would help change some of the thought patterns that have been holding me back. Anyway thanks and good night guys.