Despite throwing a party last night with about 100 people showing up, I am not feeling that great. It's a mix feeling of good and bad.
I was annoyed that some of the guys that I don't really care for showed up uninvited. I am not enemies with them or anything. They are just selfish guys who have never done anything for me, but felt ok to show up at my party.
This leads to my main point of guys patting me on the back. My good friends actually don not pat me on the back unless we are really excited about something. It's usually guys who have average status who want to pat me on the back which annoy me. For example if the CEO of your company pat you on the back and say "good work this year!", that feels ok. But average guys that I barely know trying to pat me on the back piss me off.
I know why this happens.
- I don't look tough. I just have a clean cut face, and a thin built. I don't have large eyes and thick eye brows like Chris GLL. Both Chris and Scott are BAMF (bad ass mutha fukers). Of course working out helps, but at my age, without TRT, it's very hard to build muscle. I am just spinning my wheels not to get injured, and maintaining healthy joints.
- poor posture. Slouching, shoulder turned in. This I should be able to correct. no excuse. However it's not a conscious thing. Like someone said, it's kind of hard to worry about your body language, posture, and relax and talk to people at the same time. I really, really have to put in effort to correct my posture through stretching and work out.
- Low energy and soft voice. A few decent guys pat me on the back almost in a way to cheer me up. I am not Asperger, but I do have that Asperger/depressed facial affect where I always look tired, and expressionless. If I pick up my energy, talk louder, and become more animated, and almost symbolically take up space with my voice, then people will back off a little bit. Or in a nicer sense, not feel need to pat me to cheer me up.
- Non-confrontational. I am sure you would not going around patting on a guy who is always getting into fights. I don't need to get into fight. But from now on, when guys pat me on the back, I am just going to calmly turn to them and ask them, "Hey, XXX, can you not pat me on the back?" with no explanation. The whole point is to be comfortable with making other people uncomfortable. And drawing your boundary. Sure I am a little worried about being labeled a weirdo sensitive guy. But pretty soon I am going to work as an independent contractor anyway. But then, my livelihood would have less dependence on other people's opinion.
- leadership. I was not a born leader. Most guys here aren't. Who here on this forum is the president of a fraternity or CEO of a company. But we don't want to be followers either that's why we are here. I am ok with that. Ok with not being a leader. That why I am in this community. We seek freedom, freedom to be our won boss, freedom from social constraints. I'll accept that role. A bit of a rebel without a cause.
We are all really focused on getting pussy and getting money. Which are very important for our happiness. And I am only speaking for some of us here. Some of us are unhappy barbecue we don't feel powerful in this world. Power doens't have to be controlling people, telling people what to do. It can simply be NOT controlled by other people, not get pushed around, told to do sh-t when we don't want to do it.
I am determined to get this part of my life handled. I think it will also help me with girls.
Look, style, social freedom, swag, entitlement. When you feel empowered, you will have more SWAG.
I was annoyed that some of the guys that I don't really care for showed up uninvited. I am not enemies with them or anything. They are just selfish guys who have never done anything for me, but felt ok to show up at my party.
This leads to my main point of guys patting me on the back. My good friends actually don not pat me on the back unless we are really excited about something. It's usually guys who have average status who want to pat me on the back which annoy me. For example if the CEO of your company pat you on the back and say "good work this year!", that feels ok. But average guys that I barely know trying to pat me on the back piss me off.
I know why this happens.
- I don't look tough. I just have a clean cut face, and a thin built. I don't have large eyes and thick eye brows like Chris GLL. Both Chris and Scott are BAMF (bad ass mutha fukers). Of course working out helps, but at my age, without TRT, it's very hard to build muscle. I am just spinning my wheels not to get injured, and maintaining healthy joints.
- poor posture. Slouching, shoulder turned in. This I should be able to correct. no excuse. However it's not a conscious thing. Like someone said, it's kind of hard to worry about your body language, posture, and relax and talk to people at the same time. I really, really have to put in effort to correct my posture through stretching and work out.
- Low energy and soft voice. A few decent guys pat me on the back almost in a way to cheer me up. I am not Asperger, but I do have that Asperger/depressed facial affect where I always look tired, and expressionless. If I pick up my energy, talk louder, and become more animated, and almost symbolically take up space with my voice, then people will back off a little bit. Or in a nicer sense, not feel need to pat me to cheer me up.
- Non-confrontational. I am sure you would not going around patting on a guy who is always getting into fights. I don't need to get into fight. But from now on, when guys pat me on the back, I am just going to calmly turn to them and ask them, "Hey, XXX, can you not pat me on the back?" with no explanation. The whole point is to be comfortable with making other people uncomfortable. And drawing your boundary. Sure I am a little worried about being labeled a weirdo sensitive guy. But pretty soon I am going to work as an independent contractor anyway. But then, my livelihood would have less dependence on other people's opinion.
- leadership. I was not a born leader. Most guys here aren't. Who here on this forum is the president of a fraternity or CEO of a company. But we don't want to be followers either that's why we are here. I am ok with that. Ok with not being a leader. That why I am in this community. We seek freedom, freedom to be our won boss, freedom from social constraints. I'll accept that role. A bit of a rebel without a cause.
We are all really focused on getting pussy and getting money. Which are very important for our happiness. And I am only speaking for some of us here. Some of us are unhappy barbecue we don't feel powerful in this world. Power doens't have to be controlling people, telling people what to do. It can simply be NOT controlled by other people, not get pushed around, told to do sh-t when we don't want to do it.
I am determined to get this part of my life handled. I think it will also help me with girls.
Look, style, social freedom, swag, entitlement. When you feel empowered, you will have more SWAG.