Hey all, I have almost never posted here, but this site has been a key part of a truly transformative year for me and I'm hoping for some advice from my fellow losers. I need to come back, share my story and provide some
To keep it short, I'm 23 and I broke up with my 5 year long term girlfriend exactly a year ago and moved abroad to a big city, have finally been doing everything I should have always been doing including working out, getting a new job I love and crushing approach anxiety. It has been amazing almost surreal experience, and I'm at a position I would have thought laughably impossible at this time last year.
I currently have two fuckbuddies for the first time ever :
- a brazilian girl who is average looking and a bit of a bigger girl, but good fun and the best sex I have had in my life
- a beautiful russian girl who I love spending time with, and am super attracted to, but somehow the sex is falling short
For some reason I'm having trouble having good sex / staying hard with the russian girl, and I'm not sure why.
Last week I had just spent the Saturday night and the following morning with the brazilian, and saw the russian that evening. I had a bit of trouble there and just figured I had been a bit over ambitious.
So the last week I avoided her in favor of holding out for a night with the russian chick. Enjoyed an amazing BJ, finished, but then couldn't get and stay hard with her again. Even when trying again hours later. She took it alright but it's been twice now and it's kind of putting a downer on the whole thing because she thinks it is her fault...
I'm wondering if it may be nerves/ overthinking it? This is the hottest girl that I've ever been with, and beyond that I actually love hanging out with her, we get along great and stuff. I promised myself I wouldn't start going down the relationship path yet till I go further along my mission of confidence building and AA crushing, but in this case I feel like I should maybe give it a shot. Dunno if it's this that is also fucking with my head / body.
Side notes on this side of my life :
- I'm pretty naturally well endowed so I have never bothered with any of the "growing" exercises, hasn't been a priority
- Don't do any exercises or anything to try and build endurance or stuff like that, feeling like I probably should
- I have been pretty much cutting out masturbation / porn from my life, but I feel like it is almost having the opposite expected effect with making it more difficult for me to stay hard. I purposely went the full week with no porn / masturbation leading up to it and it didn't help at all..
- I have been on finasteride for hair loss for 2 and a half years now, it has done an amazing job, but I know this kind of problem is a possible side effect, I'm wondering if this is only starting to arise now.
- I had a blood test for testosterone done with my annual workup, the measurements were in a unit and value I don't remember now, but I was near the high end of the proposed "normal" spectrum. So I got the sense it was alright, not disastrous, but not amazing either.
- Rarely wake up with morning wood, don't feel that much of a "strong" sex drive in general. This is what makes me wonder if I have an issue with diet / hormones / something else.
I'm pretty much on a non stop schedule, on the physical side I work out 3 times a week, play basketball and tennis several times, handle all my food. Work is pretty busy I'm switching from a good job to a great one next week, so I'm a bit overloaded during the transition, don't know if it's maybe just due to all that as well?
Anyway I would love some advice on :
- Long term things I should begin working on / investigating on this front
- Effective solutions leading up to the next time I see her to not fuck it up (3rd time would be difficult to explain away I feel)
Thanks lads.
To keep it short, I'm 23 and I broke up with my 5 year long term girlfriend exactly a year ago and moved abroad to a big city, have finally been doing everything I should have always been doing including working out, getting a new job I love and crushing approach anxiety. It has been amazing almost surreal experience, and I'm at a position I would have thought laughably impossible at this time last year.
I currently have two fuckbuddies for the first time ever :
- a brazilian girl who is average looking and a bit of a bigger girl, but good fun and the best sex I have had in my life
- a beautiful russian girl who I love spending time with, and am super attracted to, but somehow the sex is falling short
For some reason I'm having trouble having good sex / staying hard with the russian girl, and I'm not sure why.
Last week I had just spent the Saturday night and the following morning with the brazilian, and saw the russian that evening. I had a bit of trouble there and just figured I had been a bit over ambitious.
So the last week I avoided her in favor of holding out for a night with the russian chick. Enjoyed an amazing BJ, finished, but then couldn't get and stay hard with her again. Even when trying again hours later. She took it alright but it's been twice now and it's kind of putting a downer on the whole thing because she thinks it is her fault...
I'm wondering if it may be nerves/ overthinking it? This is the hottest girl that I've ever been with, and beyond that I actually love hanging out with her, we get along great and stuff. I promised myself I wouldn't start going down the relationship path yet till I go further along my mission of confidence building and AA crushing, but in this case I feel like I should maybe give it a shot. Dunno if it's this that is also fucking with my head / body.
Side notes on this side of my life :
- I'm pretty naturally well endowed so I have never bothered with any of the "growing" exercises, hasn't been a priority
- Don't do any exercises or anything to try and build endurance or stuff like that, feeling like I probably should
- I have been pretty much cutting out masturbation / porn from my life, but I feel like it is almost having the opposite expected effect with making it more difficult for me to stay hard. I purposely went the full week with no porn / masturbation leading up to it and it didn't help at all..
- I have been on finasteride for hair loss for 2 and a half years now, it has done an amazing job, but I know this kind of problem is a possible side effect, I'm wondering if this is only starting to arise now.
- I had a blood test for testosterone done with my annual workup, the measurements were in a unit and value I don't remember now, but I was near the high end of the proposed "normal" spectrum. So I got the sense it was alright, not disastrous, but not amazing either.
- Rarely wake up with morning wood, don't feel that much of a "strong" sex drive in general. This is what makes me wonder if I have an issue with diet / hormones / something else.
I'm pretty much on a non stop schedule, on the physical side I work out 3 times a week, play basketball and tennis several times, handle all my food. Work is pretty busy I'm switching from a good job to a great one next week, so I'm a bit overloaded during the transition, don't know if it's maybe just due to all that as well?
Anyway I would love some advice on :
- Long term things I should begin working on / investigating on this front
- Effective solutions leading up to the next time I see her to not fuck it up (3rd time would be difficult to explain away I feel)
Thanks lads.