Whats up guys, if you could read this and give me some feedback it would be great.
Bout 3 weeks ago I almost lost my v-card at a party, chick initiated the makeout(it was the first time) and I just said fuck it
and started groping. Went to my house and uh got my dick sucked. Shit hurt cuz im not circumsized and she peeled my foreskin back and went in. Lost my boner after that and couldnt make it happen. Fingered her a bit and passed out.
Since then, because before that I had never kissed a girl or anything, I am starting to feel kind of weird. All this time I felt all the burden of trying to entertain someone to potentially get rejected/ashamed was worth the potential reward of sex. Now I know its not really a big deal.
Now I am just comfortable jacking off and lifting at like a maintenance pace.
It worries me because I have never been in a relationship with anyone. Most of my life I have been alone and I was raised by a single mother. I dont have any brothers or sisters or much family.
The idea of coexisting with someone all the time really scares me, I feel like even when I am hanging out at a party or anything its like this pressure I have to entertain the people I am talking to. Im always like analyzing whether or not im being awkward or weird or quiet or etcetera. Nothing feels natural or fun its just all stress, like I cant ever relax.
Maybe its because Ive gotten high every day AM --> PM all day on weed. Also started using adderall on a daily and coke every now and then. I dont know, life just feels so empty and I just sit at home and do nothing but get high because I have nothing else to do.
Anyone gone through shit like this?
Bout 3 weeks ago I almost lost my v-card at a party, chick initiated the makeout(it was the first time) and I just said fuck it
and started groping. Went to my house and uh got my dick sucked. Shit hurt cuz im not circumsized and she peeled my foreskin back and went in. Lost my boner after that and couldnt make it happen. Fingered her a bit and passed out.
Since then, because before that I had never kissed a girl or anything, I am starting to feel kind of weird. All this time I felt all the burden of trying to entertain someone to potentially get rejected/ashamed was worth the potential reward of sex. Now I know its not really a big deal.
Now I am just comfortable jacking off and lifting at like a maintenance pace.
It worries me because I have never been in a relationship with anyone. Most of my life I have been alone and I was raised by a single mother. I dont have any brothers or sisters or much family.
The idea of coexisting with someone all the time really scares me, I feel like even when I am hanging out at a party or anything its like this pressure I have to entertain the people I am talking to. Im always like analyzing whether or not im being awkward or weird or quiet or etcetera. Nothing feels natural or fun its just all stress, like I cant ever relax.
Maybe its because Ive gotten high every day AM --> PM all day on weed. Also started using adderall on a daily and coke every now and then. I dont know, life just feels so empty and I just sit at home and do nothing but get high because I have nothing else to do.
Anyone gone through shit like this?