This is probably the 5th thread I've posted on the depression forum but I just want to talk to someone before I drag myself out of the house to do more approaches today. I don't talk to anyone I know irl about dating because it's a double life for me (plus you guys are the only reason I'm getting anywhere with that)
On Friday I think I fucked up a job interview (researched the interview process but forgot to research the company, hope they're hard up for employees and will still take me on), my date that night was a huge letdown and I don't know why she bothered showing up if she was just going to play with her phone. Woke up the next with a headache and a desire to break something though I might have fucked up the date myself by doing some awkward shit at the beginning.
Then last night I went out to do some night game. I was the only guy out there with a suit and felt like it wasn't helping at all and that I didn't feel cool enough for this crowd. Oh, and my date for today had to cancel, so I'm just going to cold approach, go to bed, and try to get a same day therapy appointment tomorrow.
I know that the guys who regularly get laid are generally positive but so far all I've managed to do is bury shit for a month or 2, or drink it away for a night. And after leaning in for a kiss and nearly falling on my face after only 2 IPAs I'm starting to think that's a bad idea. Then everything comes flooding back, I feel like a total failure, I see all the men my dad told me not to become running circles around me (that one really hurts, sure I can improve but every time I see someone who grew up playing football and doing fun shit wish I could have had that) and remember the years I thought my presence as a man was offensive to women. Does anyone else get the sense that women are more socially savvy than men? I get the feeling they're in on some big joke and think the trouble we go through it attract them is hilarious
I know that was really incoherent but I have a lot I want to say. Thanks in advance if you read all of that. Tl;dr I want to be positive, I get the sense that everything comes more easily to positive people, but all I know how to do is bottle everything up.
On Friday I think I fucked up a job interview (researched the interview process but forgot to research the company, hope they're hard up for employees and will still take me on), my date that night was a huge letdown and I don't know why she bothered showing up if she was just going to play with her phone. Woke up the next with a headache and a desire to break something though I might have fucked up the date myself by doing some awkward shit at the beginning.
Then last night I went out to do some night game. I was the only guy out there with a suit and felt like it wasn't helping at all and that I didn't feel cool enough for this crowd. Oh, and my date for today had to cancel, so I'm just going to cold approach, go to bed, and try to get a same day therapy appointment tomorrow.
I know that the guys who regularly get laid are generally positive but so far all I've managed to do is bury shit for a month or 2, or drink it away for a night. And after leaning in for a kiss and nearly falling on my face after only 2 IPAs I'm starting to think that's a bad idea. Then everything comes flooding back, I feel like a total failure, I see all the men my dad told me not to become running circles around me (that one really hurts, sure I can improve but every time I see someone who grew up playing football and doing fun shit wish I could have had that) and remember the years I thought my presence as a man was offensive to women. Does anyone else get the sense that women are more socially savvy than men? I get the feeling they're in on some big joke and think the trouble we go through it attract them is hilarious
I know that was really incoherent but I have a lot I want to say. Thanks in advance if you read all of that. Tl;dr I want to be positive, I get the sense that everything comes more easily to positive people, but all I know how to do is bottle everything up.