Hello,
I need some honest advice from the community on how to solve the dating / relationship aspect of my life.
Before I hit 30 I want to have hit 50 lays, with at least 10 of those being quality girls (hot).
Me:
26 years old.
Stats: 6’1, average income, still have my hair (dunno for how much longer), below average looks facially – here’s some pics:
imgur.com/a/h2A1VDX
Context:
Virgin throughout all of high school and college. Had a few (1-2) opportunities but never took them due to shyness and low self esteem, but also because I wasn’t good looking. Never had teen love or any of the amazing experiences that teenagers are supposed to have, which left me bitter and angry.
Online dating:
I’ve had Tinder on and off for 5 years (yes you read that correctly). In that time I’ve had thousands and thousands of matches, but 99% of them never went anywhere. I managed to get 35 lays off it, progressively more each year (in 2013 I got 0, in 2014 I got 2, in 2015 I got 3, in 2016 I got 6, in 2017 I got 10, in 2018 I got 14 within the first 6 months of the year, then met a girlfriend (my first one ever).
I’ve been close to smashing my phone in frustration with apps. The amount of flakes / conversations that go nowhere / catfishing / shit dates I’ve been on has made it insanely frustrating. Almost all of my conversations go like this:
Me: Hey, how’re you doing? (or some other generic opener)
Her: Hey
Then no matter what I say they don’t respond.
I’ve tried a vast array of different photos and bios and always get the same poor response rates. So I’m close to giving up. Also most of the girls I match / have slept with were below average looking.
I’m still amazed by how badly I do on there. I know I’m not good looking, but to get the absolute trash matches I get is really unbelievable. NONE of the lays I’ve had have been my ‘type’ – just girls I’ve settled for because I had no other options. I have never had the chance to fuck an objectively good looking girl. The ones I get always have some serious flaws, just like me I guess.
Real life approaches:
I made my first REAL daygame cold approach on a girl in a suit shop 2 weeks ago. I got her number and we went out on a date but ultimately I couldn’t be bothered to pursue her as I thought she was a bit of a dickhead. Mouthy, entitled, hugely overconfident. Aside from that I’ve never cold approached a woman. I am so insecure about my face that I can’t bear it. But if I’m likely to get better results from that than online then I’m willing to try it. I see hundreds of girls every week that I’d love to approach but I never do it due to social anxiety. I can only seduce girls when I know they like me with 100% certainty.
General reception from girls:
I probably get 1 indicator of interest
per month from girls. 99% of girls I see on a daily basis either look straight through me, around me, or look for a split second then turn away and don’t reengage again. I’ve
never been called good looking by a good looking girl. I have very little reason to have self confidence.
I’ve never been the kind of guy who gets easy opportunities. Girls simply don’t seem to care about my existence or consider me a sexual option. Other guys clean up with ease. Even when girls are drunk they totally ignore me. It’s harrowing.
So..
I’ve been hugely scarred by my experiences with girls and consider this part of my life an almost total failure. For years I fantasized about a future where I’d have hot FWBs and a cute girlfriend, but it never happened.
I now want to get this area of my life ‘wrapped up’. I want to fuck atleast 20-30 actually hot girls and then call it quits and settle down with a girl to marry and have kids, especially as my career begins to pick up steam. I’m getting too old for this shit.
What can I do?
I see myself as having 4 options –
1. Have facial surgery to improve my looks, which will improve my success on tinder (hopefully) the problem is the risks of looking worse / unnatural post-OP. I’d need to have double jaw surgery to lengthen my face and make it look more masculine / symmetrical. It would cost $40,000+ but I can afford that.
2. Start actively cold approaching girls to assess what I can achieve
3. Give up, settle down with a 4/10 girl and call it quits - attractive girls were clearly never meant for me.
4. Move abroad and try to get with foreign girls who have lower standards (Asia is out of the question, I’ve been and I didn’t like most of it, and don’t find Asian girls attractive).
Aim:
To bang a handful of girls of this calibre before I turn 30:
imgur.com/a/te06mbh
I know you guys will probably trash these girls and rate them 5’s, but I don’t give a fuck, they’re hot to me and are currently out of reach. I generally feel so hopeless with women because all of them look at me as if I'm utter scum, shit on the bottom of their shoes. I've been ghosted hundreds of times and rejected ON dates on several occasions by only moderately attractive girls.
Any advice on a plan of action would be helpful. Keep in mind I’ve been on over 90 dates from online and know what I’m doing in terms of how to behave on a date, I just want to know whether it’s worth doing cold approach, or whether anyone here has experience in doing well with online game and has tips for me?
Thanks
). Second is at a house 1 minute from where I was living in Whistler haha.
